


It Isn’t Fair

by Himiiki



Category: Hunter X Hunter
Genre: Angst, Crying Killua Zoldyck, Disease, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Emotionally Hurt Killua Zoldyck, Family, Family Feels, Fluff, Hurt/Comfort, More tags to be added, Poor Killua (Hunter X Hunter), Sick Character, Sickfic, hurt Killua Zoldyck, moved story, thats the tea
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-06-23
Updated: 2020-06-22
Packaged: 2021-03-03 20:02:19
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,374
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24851266
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Himiiki/pseuds/Himiiki
Summary: A wish gone wrong. He said there were never consequences when he made the wish.It was a lie.He knew it from the beginning.But he could keep that lie.___Story was originally posted on wattpad
Relationships: Alluka Zoldyck & Killua Zoldyck, Gon Freecs & Killua Zoldyck, Gon Freecs & Kurapika & Leorio Paladiknight & Killua Zoldyck, Killua Zoldyck & Everyone, Kurapika & Killua Zoldyck, Leorio Paladiknight & Killua Zoldyck
Comments: 19
Kudos: 81





	It Isn’t Fair

**Author's Note:**

> Yes this story was once in wattpad- but I decided to leave wattpad and move this story to here where I can actually rewrite it in my free time!
> 
> I can’t promise much frequent updates (I’ll probably get to do them once a week- and if I’m too busy once every two weeks!)

“When we first met. I thought I was finally free of that darkness you know.” He said as his vision failed him. He didn’t know time anymore. He could barely feel the hand touching his his arm.

“Yeah.” The person who was sitting besides him sniffed.

“Yeah.” He could feel as if his body was waiting for him to close his eyes again. To sleep. To just forget everything of the world.

“You can sleep now.” 

And he did.

* * *

A pale figure stood alone in the bathroom, his hands gripping into the sink hard as if his life was dependent on it, a true mockery to his reality, where his life was being hung by strings, strings that just didn’t want to snap.

He stared at his reflection, taking in the way his skin looked a few shades lighter than what his already pale skin was, the way his eyes were sunken with dark circles around it, the way he looked like he weighted barely enough to be living, the only things hiding the fact being the multiple layers of baggy clothes. He wasn’t fine, he was far from being fine. But he just had to fake it. Fake it a little more. 

He closed his eyes deeply before telling to himself once again, "I am doing it. For him." He took a deep breath as he gritted his teeth, breathing wasn’t as easy as before.

Just a few more lies. He could do it. He could pretend, they all loved to play pretend. _Let’s pretend we still care, let’s pretend we still talk, let’s pretend you’re my best friend._

He cursed when another wave of nausea washed over him, making his grip in the sink harden. Just a few more lies, he told himself, and then he’d be free. He moved silently to throw his shirt back on he exited the bathroom careful not to wake the other occupant in the room. It wouldn't be fair to wake up his sister that early, specially since it was the day that she would be leaving, off to her own little adventure, with her own friends. 

He was sure he had never seen Alluka so excited before, and he knew she had grown tired of him-they both had spent two whole years traveling around the world, but there was only so much one could do with their brother- and then it got to the point where he couldn't do much. Not when his body was failing every day.

A blessing. It’s what he had called it at first. Because as long as he had it, then it meant the one he saved got to live. If he wished for him to be healthy again. Then _Gon would pay the price_.

But the more that he thought about it, his mind slowly told him it was a curse. But he denied. He told himself he could do it.

_Maybe if he died, Gon would continue to live. And he wouldn’t suffer anymore._

He felt as if his once youth energy had left him. He was only 16 for goodness sake, yet he felt as if his body was of an old man. Walking some distances left him panting. Eating too much made him throw up. The insomnia that only grew each night, and the restless sleep accompanied with the ever ongoing pain. He had a high pain tolerance, he knew that- he was _sure_ of that, but not for him to be able to withstand it every day without any breaks.

He knew Alluka saw it coming, it was impossible for her not to know, specially when Nanika was right connected to her mind. But she barely mentioned, his last outrage had left her speechless. She almost made the wish herself even though she couldn’t do it, she begged for Nanika to reverse it. But Nanika only told her, “It has to be _his_ wish.” Alluka just didn’t know of all the symptoms. After all, his family had raised him an extraordinary liar.

"It was for the greater good." He told her after their argument. And she only stared at him, eyes full with tears, the word LIAR written clear across her features.

He managed to help her make friends. Slowly, as insecure as she was, he helped her, he made plans for her- by stealing her phone and sending text messages to them- he just wouldn’t tell her he had already searched up their whole family histories because he could never be too careful.

And they invited her, to make ‘a tour across the world’ as they had phrased it. And Killua managed to make her accept their offer, it was a small group, just her, two other girls and a boy. And she didn’t want to go, didn’t want to leave her brother’s side, but she did it. She did it either way because he promised her, that when she returned he’d be there, waiting for her. And she trusted him.

Never trust a liar. 

He should’ve told her.

But her smile was worth lying for.

And Gon’s smile, was also worth lying for.

* * *

When it came time for Alluka's departure, she cried on his arms even more when they had first reunited, he patiently waited until she stopped crying to tell her that everything was going to be fine and that he would call her every other day. Promises both knew he wouldn’t keep. 

They stood in complete silence on their hotel room before Alluka broke the silence.

"You really promise onii-chan?" She fidgeted with her fingers, refusing to look up at him, even at the age of fifteen, the way that she called her brother hadn’t changed.

"Yes." He replied, a small smile forming on his lips.

"And you promise you'll be okay until I come back?" With that she looked up at him, tears on the verge of slipping, but her composure maintained still. Kudos to her brother who taught her that.

"I feel quite hurt you’re making me promise twice. Who do you think I am, Illumi?" He tried to lighten up the mood, but the ever so stillness of her body told him otherwise.

"But I'm serious!" She almost shouted, "and Nanika-" He didn't allow her to finish her sentence as he covered her mouth with his hand.

"Shhh.” He took his hand off her lips and hugged her again. “Go now, you don't want to keep your friends waiting." He broke the hug and started guiding her to the door.

"But you’re going to be all alone." She mumbled, her eyelashes now wet with fresh tears.

Fuck. He made her cry again.

She was worried, he knew it was only natural, but she shouldn’t have to worry about him. No one should. 

"Alluka." He smiled at her, who only looked in confusion to his face. “If anything I’ll call Leorio, or Kurapika.” He had told her about both before, Leorio the aspiring medical student, and Kurapika just- Kurapika. He hadn’t wanted to go into details because it had been years since he last spoke to the man.

“You pro-“ And she stopped her sentence. “I trust you.” And Killua felt as if a burden had been released from his shoulders. “But!” _Oh_. “If anything you’ll call _me_ , and _I’ll_ come back.”

Killua ruffled his sister’s hair- she had gotten taller almost close enough to his height- before sheepishly saying, “Of course _Alluka-chan_!”

She giggled before giving him another quick hug, and finally opening the door and striding down the hallway to where her friends waited for her.

Killua closed the door behind him, and allowed himself to slide down and curl up. The facade was gone, no need for it anymore, no need to lie anymore, no need to try to forget about the pain anymore. He took a breath before standing up dizzily.

Knowing that if he made it to the bed, it would be a price being won. And he made it, allowing himself to fall, not bothering about the sheets or anything. He curled up to his side, the pain throughout becoming annoying. 

He needed to eat, but the thought of food made his stomach turn.

And then he was off. 

To a dreamless sleep.

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you for reading and tell me what you guys thought!  
> I always get happy seeing comments!


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